I Hate The Way You Make Me Feel!

I have these small moments that my world is alright, like everything is at peace. That people are not fighting anymore.
I feel that sometimes everything that goes wrong is my fault, everyone in my family sire trys pinning it on me. They hate the fact that they didn't tell me who to love and when to love him, and how to do my job. I hate it when people tell me what to do, I am not a child, I have grown up. I paid your bills for years, I am the one with the job, I hate it when people make me feel like a piece of shit, I hate it when people make me feel bad for one thing I did wrong, when I just did 3o things right.
I hate having that one thing thrown in my face, I am not perfect. I am the kind of person that will believe what you told me, as I don't see the reason for lieing to someone, I can understand most of the hurtful things that our said or done to me, I am use to people putting me down.
I can't understand the fact that when I am happy, they say something about all my worngs and get me down in the dumps.
I hate it when people hold you to your word when your having money problems.
I guess I will never know, I guess I will be the target until I die, they will never leave me alone,
I never in my life want to be used, and right now I feel used!

A poem written by Krysten Parks
Facts about how my family treats me!

Well latly, i have been feeling a little down, i am not sure if it has any reason, but i just don't get happy over the smallest things anymore, and i feel that everyone out there has something bad to say, and never anything good, when will there be something good to say! I feel like i am fighting with everyone around me, i feel like friends are leaving me behind, and there is nothing to stop it, and i feel like my heart is hurting, even though there is no reason for it to hurt!
i wish that there were things that can be said or done that i can change it, but there isn't that much that already hasn't been said or done, i am going to just keep my friends close and the people i hate away from me, i don't need all that in my life right now, i am not playing games, i don't want to play games with anyone! i wish that people wouldn't play games but hey why not it's fun...
Well it just seems that people take advantage of me, and i let them that's not fair, when someone is weaker then you, don't walk all over them, how is that fair.
there are days that i feel like everything is going good, until i get to the point when someone doesn't think that anymore, i am tired of people telling me how and what to think about, or what to do, i am not a puppet, i will do what i want, if you don't want me to get married i am sorry i love him, if you don't want me to hang out with a certien someone i am sorry, i will anyways, i am not a perfect person, i never will be, i will not be the person you want me to be, i can not be the person you want me to be! I can't do this anymore. i am use to making everyone happy, but i am not happy in the mean time! it's not fair, why do people expect so much from me?
Thanks for reading,
Krysten Parks
Krysten